whinybaby '11

it's a shame when a good job is marred by shitfuck employers

dog-whistle voiced mail order bride and her socially retarded, elephantine husband

these things wouldn't matter if they weren't such shitfucks

but they suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck and i hate them

and my hatred is so visceral, and i think it's giving me grey hairs and lines on my face, and making me an altogether hateful person. 
it takes so much energy to hate these shitfucks, but they fuck me over on the daily!

they take all my time.. so i will just have to seek employ elsewhere

and get my fucking mind back and maybe have fun or some shit

the tight feeling in your throat when you know you're about to cry.. that's another thing I hate and don't want to experience again for a long time. 

I don't want to feel disappointed in anything or anybody in my life, or myself. 

I don't want any bullshit no mo. 

i thought  summer was just ending but it's been smelling like winter outdoors at night

and walking through the door a spiderweb touched my eyeball

why do i assume the elevator will be at the ground floor when i hit the button (it wasn't)

and why do i assume the crumpled ball of brown paper at the foot of the stairs is a dead bird (it wasn't, it was paper!!!!!!!)

duuuhhhhhhh

i am the dead birdd!!!!

fuck shit fuck fuck shit

I'm 12!

I am such a fool 4 u

"linger" by the cranberries just took me back to Hornby Island during spring break when I was twelve.


oh, life!

so today a random person opened my apartment door.

I had just woken up from a nap and was on the futon watching tv. I was still groggy and I wasn't sure I heard a knock, but the second time I was sure and I got there just as this bro opens the door a crack and is like "hey.. I'm looking for [some name].

and I was just very confused and said "this is the wrong..." and couldn't remember the word for apartment. 

and I closed the door and the whole thing was weird. 

it's getting harder to separate nightmares from reality!

there was a little duck

pocket crumpet

a black and white sucker fish

a squirrel

and something else

the squirrel killed everything

lemongrass/chives

when I was unemployed for too long again I started watching a lot of Keeping up with the Kardashians. 

I was quite depressed. 

I started a tomato grow op in my apartment. 

I think things affect me that don't affect other people. I feel deeply connected to strangers sometimes. I feel sad when they don't treat me kindly.

john who flipped through the big cat book in the warehouse was grumpy and tired and I sat by him as I was waiting for candice to get to her office. he was a shit and no fun to talk to and I think that contributed to my quitting. though I would have anyway. it was a good day to quit. 

I don't like crying in front of people. 

I think about M and I'm very worried. I'm worried and I don't know how to contact her. 

on a side note, the manager at my work opened his mouth to answer a question about croissants and a huge glob of drool fell out and hit the floor. in front of a customer. it was amazing and I'm so glad I was there to see it. 

on a good day