100

I need a garbage can or something.
It is so frustrating to me that I can't seem to utilize the space in this room properly, which is why I left it disheveled as shit for over a month. Now that it has some semblance of tidiness I can't handle its imperfections. 
I wonder if in the future I will be able to get Thai food delivered to me at any hour without having to actually talk to anybody.
It is incredible how much food I avoid eating in order to avoid people. Agoraphobia dictates my meal plan. 
James Franco is cutting off his arm and wearing makeup and kissing himself.
I feel both comforted and uneasy listening quietly to Neutral Milk Hotel in my room with the door cracked open. I don't want to wake the beast outside. 
I wonder if the songs I listen to can feel my appreciation sometimes.
I wonder if any of the laundry machines downstairs are empty.
I have somebody who comes over sometimes and makes me so happy that things like furniture and walls and floors don't even exist.
I love somebody more than I thought anybody could love anybody. 
And I'm so lucky. 

oh, my love

what is the environment like in a tattoo parlour?
(s)he lacks the ability to "feel" the room
removing oneself from the great indoors is not just risky, it's unnecessary
though your dwelling could also get bombed,
it's the hug that doesn't let go until you do

tonight

lordamercy

i would do probably three things differently
and that's teeny
you're a cat's claw
you're a cat's claw as it scrambles into my leg and off of my bed
you're a rabbit foot on a chain and you're turquoise 
we're painting our faces in black and white
black and white and grey, my twin and i
and we're not as many as i expected
i thought this would be, thought 
differently than i guess he she or they did.
i thought there would be more people. 




but i love you i love you and my lips are dry

you're in my car and you're trying to move the seat back further

and laughing wondering how i can fit in here, saying i'm pretty tall too

you have a takeout box of crab and corn and you're smiling the widest smile i've ever seen, it nearly splits your face in two. i can't believe your grin. it's marvelous. 

it throws me. i can't stop laughing and i'm giddy.

i won't forget our dance. 

dear god just work

the girl loved pop tarts

I found your donor heart in a little red cooler 
in the grass and rocks right up from the beach
it was hidden amidst bottles, cans, fruit flies,
and a scratched-up babydoll's plastic face
and five hundred used condoms
and a pool of windex
and ten dollars in pennies
and sheep mucus 
and french fries
and steam engines
and horror
I'm sorry I didn't hug you today
frankly, I thought I'd never see you again

brekkist

remember when I took you out of your house

and released you?

put you on a skillet and listened to you hiss

I broke your yolk

I waited for you

I slowly lifted your edges, and I flipped you

I salted you 

I peppered you with kisses

what can I say? I love to do it

you're brilliantly pretty against a white background

your colours really pop

"fuck"

I am yours

you are mine

you are what you are

(I'm so sorry.)

buttertron

NOW LET'S PERCUSS

CLAP CLAP

CLAP CLAP CLAP

TAP TAP

TAP TAP TAP

SNAP SNAP

SNAP SNAP SNAP

it's raining in mug

I just bought this and I've already lost it. 

(relevant)

via The Big Picture

my special burgy :)

did I die? yeah. yummy. portabello and smoked havarti.

these are the perks of working in a kitchen. 

photo courtesy of my coworker;

you guyssssssssss, there is a Z grilled into the onion. 

I AM SPECIAL AND THIS WAS MY BURGER.

Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as fuck. 

deep conversation

let's do a triple salchow into our watery graves

HAhah two twirling glittery figures spinning into a pool of liquid

hahahaha

so there we were

spinning

and spinning

and splashing

forevzies

into the afterworld

the neverendingsplash

splash mountain

hahahahahha

SPLASHCAMP

aww yiss!

splashgash

Stiles

gumzy

mama, it's mamie
(your daughter)
and I'm tired and I want to come home
(it's mamie)
your daughter
I love somebody who doesn't know I'm there
(your daughter)
mamie
and I have friends (but only five!)
mama..
your daughter is dying
(meryl!)
I'm so unhappy 
(mamie!)
your mother is sick of you

The moon lives in the lining of your skin.

what can I say?

hair conditioner in your air conditioner

PENICILLIN BABY

I am so unhappy.

blackberry in the backberry, raspberry on the rightberry

I care about pizza more than I care about most people

my head is too big for this world and this is why I am an outcast

a cheese for each season. 

time is a mere scratch and life is nothing

oh, ok

sheets for walls

see through the threads

there is sun outside

here it's dark instead

and your silhouette 

on my pillow-floor bed

you had to know I wanted you then.

my head, heavy and sweet

a bowl of lead 

your hands, your feet

on my bed

you called me a laugh 

and I called you a treat

and you're lying, asleep

on my floor-pillow bed

and still, my lips

the kissingest red or something

neat, is it in my head

the smell of wheat, and bread

in the street, and people

awake in our stead

hot tea, a reptile 

on a steel beam,

a peck on the cheek, 

cheesecake of the week, 

my love in a box 

of tartrazine, it's cheap

but it's strong and deep

eyes wild, chasing a fly
a beanpole possessed
"he's a big one,
he's gonna lay eggs"
a strange, towel-whipping dance
"he saw me coming for him"
murderous "they came too early
this year" manic choreography
amanda marshall is worse than all the flies in the world
yet we allow her to fill this kitchen

i didn't get fucked and i didn't get kissed, i got so fucking pissed

i think it is a good kind of pain if your throat hurts from shrieking at nothing in your car on the way home from work alone (just to see how loud you can go) 
(very)

hey mom

something just wiggles into your brain

something nonsensical

something seemingly unrelated to anything that is in any way relevant to anything
and you NEED NEED NEED to immerse yourself in that thing RIGHT NOW

this is what just happened to me

and I found myself watching this beautiful motherfucker:

and I'm wondering..
how does this happen?
how do you find yourself slurring your way through a song about luring partners to presumably do sex to, with an extraneous car you used to be in a show with back way when these far too young for you ladies were maybe unborn? your mouth working so hard but unable to properly form the ridonkulous (let's be honest here) lyrics, but it doesn't matter because you have money and fame and people the world over find you oddly endearing (I mean I can't be the only one clearly) and what's with the cheesy backgrounds and the low budget everything, is this a parody or are you just taking whatever you can get? you with your glassy glassy eyes sitting in your skull like little blue grapes set in a too-ripe and slightly squishy melon.


and then I remember the shirtless on the floor eating a cheeseburger video and just think that the agony/ecstasy dichotomy of life is sometimes very amusing.


always with the food.

to be expanded into a 3000 page novel

Lyle Mung and Laurel Mung sat in a booth at Denny's with their three children. Lyle ordered grits and bacon, Laurel ordered a Grand Slam with brown toast, two eggs over easy, hash browns, and pancakes. Morris, their eldest, ordered "pancake puppies" which were just a shitty imitation of timbits. The twins each ordered waffles. Nina had strawberry syrup while Estlin chose "generic butter flavour" syrup, but spread a little bit of peanut butter into each tiny square before pouring it on. Nobody smiled because they were all still thinking about the roadkill crow flapping like a garbage bag on the highway and their breakfast tasted like guilt or sadness or something equally unappetizing. 

you just keep me hanging on

magic magic lanterns so your see lanterns whose sold sold many sold for you
than feelings you
than so things you
than feelings are

hornby

we were down by the playground and the sheep escaped
there was a flaw with the gate, and some sheep ran away
and nobody believed us when our story relayed
and I don't know if I believe it myself anymore

Everything Bagel 19/04/2010

old man Dempster looking back

salut the slut, six to a pack

easy on them onion bits

too much change isn't good for him

racist, homophobe, anti-semite
that is speculation he could've been nice
for all I know he's still alive

rocking his teeth out in the bentwood

look at the hills, look at the mountains

look at the children weaned on my bagels

  

I would like to fight. I've been running up and down the stairs in a grey sweatsuit for ages, LET'S GO.

hairy downy blue baby

me cannot stand what you have become
me cannot stand what I have become
me cannot stand what anybody has become
me is socially competent
me is sexually retarded
me likes cookies
me likes vegetables
me likes vegetable cookies
me was joking
did you know me has two children
me cannot remember the conception or birth of either
me had a rough time in twenties
me feels euphoric when me wakes up too early in the morning
and spills pineapple juice on myself

i am going to write the saddest story in the world ever
and it will be published the world over
and none of it will be true
and all of it will be heartbreaking
it will be laughable; it will be horrible
and it will keep me in kraft dinner for life

thank god it's you baby this time instead of me

you keep blinking those giant amphibian eyes at me

door

there's a woman in rags with a hunched-over back

never believing her life can correct

her bitter blood, veins in braids pumping

and pumping forever her hate

her brain, corroding in on itself

she never goes out or shouts

so in time it dies, bit by bit,
bullshit. in a blaze of confusion or pain

her hatred collides with love

all insane and discussing her mane

with an dove in a garbage dump

and he knows how she is- she can't understand

his words, though she feels his heart

and she cares for his flimsy whims, and shares
discussing his flight into unseen snares

how this pair of dead dreamers careen

pipe dreams and schemes for a different life
but the hackles are raised and shamed
there's blame and it's time to call it a day

so she goes back to bed in her ramshackle hut

cracks a walnut and falls back in a haze

aided by old man benadryl, 
and a ham with a vino glaze

mildly enraged, for the sizable pile of pills remind
of a time with fun fancy days and more wine

and parties and plays; people and tables and trays

love of my life

You won't remember, when this is blown over

And everything's all by the way

When I grow older

I will be there by your side to remind you

How I still love you -I still love you

hey

everyone thinks their cat is the wickedest

but mine is

hey everything bagel,
gonna write you an ode
when I think about you
my heart explodes
margarine glistens
on your toasted crust
and i can't even stand it
'cause I love you so much
if you were a human
I'd send you dirty texts;
people would be jealous
'cause you are the sex.
this is getting creepy
so I'm gonna wrap it up
like you got wrapped up
beside my coffee cup
my everything bagel
my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything bagel

my everything
bagel

shame

feel 'embarrassed' that tao lin has seen my embarrassing blog, or maybe 'thrilled'

drive-thru education

I want to know about kierkegaard but only a little

I'm not very hungry

we'll have three bukowski revival specials 

with a side of french films

old man in a brown tweed suit

would you teach me how to read?

smoke drifts out the car window and the hand beckons 

tesla and advanced mathematics. put a rush on it

thin-legged kids in thriftstore clothes

we're here because we want to say we've been here

pablo neruda and a packet of peanuts

I've forgotten my wallet, would you take my shoes?

busload of orphans

how does sex work? oh ho ho, the laughter

he was the loneliest man ever.. in the world

the ricky gervais show is nice

remember the time you came over to my dorm
and we watched a glass jar break in a man's rectum
a faceless, aged man. blood dripping deep red onto his floor
and we wondered if he lived

then we watched clips of an old italian movie
where the characters were humiliated
and forced to eat shit
mangia mangia mangia

and we chuckled and tried to be stoic

mechanic, you are my doctor
I ask of you three favours:
grease my eyes so that I might cry
grease my heart so that I might love
grease my anus (for private reasons)
I don't want to rust away

the robot smiled in the autumn wind
he'd won. he knew he'd won

the paint roll penis

blintz

i meet you there
where the grey water meets the grey sand
and the grey sky
your wan figure grows nearer
and i can touch you now
your stark, pinched face
in my bloodied and cracked hands
squint in the whipping wind
our eyes are leaking and we do not care

if i wanted to eat pine needles i would go into the forest and stick my face in the ground! he shouts

right now//

buttery buttery everything bagel
this is all i need.

got a nice little buzz on
rum and gingy ale

still could use that everything bagel.

product

Élysée

walk down a road with your eyes closed behind sunglasses and your face splashed with rain

peaceful at 5:20 in the morny

a geriatric mutt woke me up 3 times to go outside
and come inside again
love her
the 3rd time i decided to eat some soup
pulled it out of the fridge
i made it. it was delicious if i may say. and vegan
and when i opened the lid it fell on the floor
half asleep stupid
mildly disappointed but i cleaned it up in a numb and efficient way
took off my soup-splattered pants
and ate the small amount that was left in the bowl when it landed almost right side up
enjoyed it
had a bit of a toasted everything bagel. a bit means half here
dropped a bit of that too. a bit means a bit here
let her in and drank some water
crawled into my bed, covered in dirty dog paws
i hear more buzzing lights now
i can feel the air all around me trying to rip itself apart

there is a buzzcocks song for every occasion

so are we all talking at different frequencies

to me, your voice is exciting

and your voice is soothing

and when you talk, I just wish you would stop

sodium laureth sulphate

let's play a game

it won't be fun, but it'll pass the time

valentine

this will be our year

and we will play like captive lions

I BLOGGED MYSELF

just when it became clear that there were too many places on the internet for me to make an ass of myself..

I CREATED ANOTHER

AND IT IS allllllll MINE